I believe that most divorces that go to trial are because the parties want “JUSTICE”. I hate to bring bad news, but there is no “JUSTICE” in divorce court.
No Superior Court Judge has a time machine to bring back the years you lost to a bad marriage. Hashing out the greatest hits of a bad marriage generally gets you nowhere but an expensive lawyer bill.
I highly recommend to anyone going through a divorce get therapy, an exorcism, or whatever allows you to move on in life. Superior Court judges hear all sorts of awful stories day in and day out; the judge will follow the law, divide property and debts fairly, and base child support on the child support guidelines.
Even in custody matters, it is usually clear who is the primary caretaker of the children, and the Judge will generally follow what the parties are already doing. Most judges have a standard visitation schedule that they think is best, although with good reasons may vary.
The major exception to this is adultery when there is an issue of alimony. A spouse who would normally be entitled to alimony, ie: a stay-at-home parent for many years, will not be granted alimony if the marriage ends due to adultery. Similarly, a spouse who ends the marriage via adultery and has an obligation for alimony will probably pay more alimony. The note for this is if you are in a bad marriage, get your divorce THEN get a new love.
I have almost never seen the secret recordings of a spouse “losing it” having a major impact on a Court’s ruling. Obviously, footage of a spouse abusing a child or blacked-out drunk is very relevant to a custody matter but less so in other matters. I often think that the act of taping someone makes the party look sneaky and manipulative.
I think the lawyer’s job is to move the client from the white heat of “JUSTICE” to a cool, rational decision-making division of pots and pans, assets, debts, and custodial obligations and rights. Your efforts as a client are better served by gathering financial information than trying to organize antagonistic texts to show a judge.
In summary, don’t make your divorce into an Amber Heard/Johnny Depp trial!!!
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